The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan

I hate Rand. Sorry not sorry.
I've started hating the characters I like, and it's started playing into stereotypes/tropes about men and women which, like, for the 90s isn't surprising, but I'm in the 2020s and this wouldn't fly. 
I like....only half-listened to this and I didn't feel like I missed much. Maybe it's because I'm used to being spoon-fed, but it felt like the characters didn't have clear goals/motivations.

TLDR: I was irritated the entire time I read this book, but Momma didn't raise not DNF, so I'll probably read the "what happened in this book" summary and get more out of it, and I'll be way less irritated. 
944 Pages

The Shadow Rising by Robert Jordan

Aaaay stuff is actually picking up. Finally. Some plot that I can follow....
Look at the chemistry. All the chemistry and all the ships. 
I'm here for Perrin and for the women. Because they're carrying this series on their backs.
Rand is stupid. We knew this. 
960 Pages 

The Dragon Reborn by Robert Jordan

So this one is definitely better than the first two...cause stuff is actually happening....like...
And it feels like there are actually stakes this time around
Also...like I said...Matt is one of the hobbits who I will not name....
624 Pages

The Great Hunt by Robert Jordan

Sooooooo is this a reference to Jesus in the desert and when he was tempted by Satan...because like...
"It is always better to choose greatness than to be forced, because a man who is forced is never completely his own master"ehhhhhh. I mean... I guess. but also like....
Why are we trusting strangers. Don't trust her just cause she's pretty.
Why are boys stupid. Boys are stupid. Idiots. 
Alexa play "Carrying the Banner" from Newsies.
....I really hope all the women are just like...nah...because I don't want women fighting over a guy...
Do I want to make a list of all of the things that give me LOTR vibes...yes...but I shall be chill. 
672 Pages

The Eye of the World by Robert Jordan

So my favorite high school teacher loved this series....so let's see
oh no she dead (I think)
anyone else gettinng dramatic darth vader cry scream
Sheep herder. Savior. Coincidence?

I have a ship, and if I'm wrong, I quit.
Literally all of the Lord of the Rings
....do you ever see someone doing something stupid and you just....sigh.
So Matt is THAT hobbit who I won't name.
I bet it's not going to work for stupid reasons. 
784 Pages