The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren.

Yes I'm in a contemporary romance rut. Shush. 
The concepts. The tropes. I am here for all of the tropes. Fake relationship. And there was one bed. 
I had so much secondhand embarassment...like..it was painful. 
I love Ethan....mostly because I want sassy snarky boy who also nerdy. 
I'm here for the yearning, the pining, and the pina coladas...just kidding....but like...protect the children who aren't children because they're in their thirties
406 Pages

You Have a Match by Emma Lord

The summer camp experience. fjdlajfkldjafkjsklj All the camp vibes
Ok I know this isn't The Parent Trap, but like....
Leo is beautiful and perfect and I would die for him. Protec at all costs. 
I'm not crying. I'm not thinking about things and my identity. shush.
336 Pages

The Queen's Secret by Melissa de la Cruz

They are being so dramatic and angsty. Y'all should just talk to each other. I keep wondering how old they are because like....talk to each other.  
Come on, we obviously know who's behind this. We all knew who was scheming and separated them. Like...obviously. 
Stab him, Lilac. I won't judge you for stabbing him.

So I am underwhelmed and the ending felt sloppy and unearned...like...that's not how I expected it to end, and I wanted  a better ending...I liked the first book better and I feel like these characters deserved more. The book is missing like...80 pages that could have actually made the book better...
320 Pages

99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne

I'm absolutely here for the male main character and the chihuahua. Yes. A chihuahua. I love her. She reminds me of Pep Pep (Pepper my rat terrier who looks like a chihuahua in the head)
The childhood friends trope. A classic. 
It took me a moment to warm up to Darcy, at least as a protagonist, but she grew on me. 
Tom was adorable and I loved him. Must be protected.

I'm also here for the bonus scenes...Because yes. I need more Hating Game content. I'm simple.
368 Pages

From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout

So this is Armentrout's first dive (at least to my knowledge) into high fantasy, so like...the world building is expositiony a bit at the beginning..but it picks up by like Chapter 9 and it felt more like Armentrout's typical style. (I come for the characters)
I've heard so much about these characters and seen so much fanart and I love them.
Hawke. What can I say. He's Hawke.
Poppy is just. I love her. She's so fierce and I just can't.
Vikter. Dad. That's all I'm going to say
My brain just went:

The mystery. The intrigue. The drama. 
I love the world and all the different creatures. I love Armentrout's twist on it.
I guessed the spoilers... but like...they were good, and I'm interested to see how everything plays out.
627 Pages

Gilded Serpent by Danielle L. Jensen

Yeah I pre-ordered this book so I could get the fanart #noregerts (spelled wrong on purpose)
Lydia and the way she's treating the library. Same
I just want my babies to be happy and together.
Marcus:

(I am not a coward) 
I know they're hungry. But seriously. 
AGRIPPA. fdjsklafjksla;
So we have a Mother Gothel and a Rapunzel.
Ok but the way that Teriana is so generous and loving.
Ok but where is Silvara?
ohhhhhh the dramatic irony. 
And now I wait a year for the last book
576 Pages

Ashlords by Scott Reintgen

Am I getting Hunger Games and Scorpio Races vibes....
Do I know who's going to be doing the betraying. Yes.
When the "smart" character has one brain cell.
I love the magic system and how the horse magic works because like....SCIENCE. 
I'm a horse girl, shut up. 
Yeah. We knew he was going to be like that (and I don't have to specify which he, because they all did what I thought they would).
I feel like there's going to be a romance subplot in the next book, and I kind of don't want it because I don't know how they'd make it work
I'm here for Imelda and only Imelda....and Pippa's horse... Don't @ me. 
384 Pages

Of Thorn and Thread by Chanda Hahn

Any one else getting Matthias vibes. #yes he is my type. Yes I am weak and I am over here in a giant puddle of adsfjlk
Liam:

The empath power. The hurt/comfort. I. am here for it. I am basic, and I know it. Y'all can tell me I don't have taste, but I don't care. I love fairy tales and y'all can't stop me
Liam always being confused and uncomfortable gives me life.
I can't. I can't handle this. Because goals. Because romantic gestures. 330 Pages

Of Sea and Song by Chanda Hahn

You can't just introduce a snarky guy who helps save someone and then move on...like...come on. I just. 
Oh thank God. 
I am no man.
fdsajfklas;jfdklsajfdklajdfklasjd;
All of the evil cackling because I'm getting all of my favorite tropes on the ship.
Ok but all the Disney nods as well as nods to the original Little Mermaid story. Chef's kiss.
Brennon, Meri. I'm just. I can't.
310 Pages

Of Glass and Glamour by Chanda Hahn

Twenty bucks that Dorian is the prince....because he charming (kind of)
I can't decide who to ship
Aha. We good. 
She's like America from the Selection and the "I came here for the food"
"It's the Wizard who should be afraid. Of me"
That scene in the Princess Diaries where they eat the sherbet
And that scene in Ella Enchanted
You mean this:
The fluff. 
310 Pages

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne

...."I'm 25 going on 125" boooooooooo.... yeah it's me. 
"We haven't had a goth in a while" yaaaaaaaaaaas. I live for these grandmas.
"Please send us the one" be more specific, babe.
"Aggie said we couldn't" babe put it together.
Ruthie: Exists. Teddy:
"Psych it's a jumpsuit!"
Teddy pulling that Han Solo moment with the "you could use a good kiss" vibes. 
Do I want a guy that has tattoos, draws, and rides a motorcycle...yes I do. I want what I want. 
The tattoo artist AU vibes. The retirement home AU. Absolute fluff fest. Send help.
352 Pages

Attached by Amir Levine

Yes I knew my attachment style going in. No we are not talking about it. Y'all should know what it is by now.
I was expecting the book to be more about the development of attachment (as in here's childhood attachment and here are all the effects in has on adult attachment)
I appreciate that this book doesn't tell all the people with the anxious attachment style to just stop being anxious and try to play it cool and stuff...because....Nah. 
Also the idea that being around a secure person rubs off. Perfection. Good communication. Great.
304 Pages

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

What do you mean he's only 12?! He's not speaking like a 12 year old?
"made us children again" child you are 14. calm down.
....This is going to hurt isn't it.
Bro don't do it. 
Ok but Patroclus is older than Achilles....
Insert all the uncomfortable laughter because I know things about the Odyssey and the Trojan War....
Achilles...hon....
Patroclus is too good for this world and no one deserves him (at least this version of him)
Briseis always be right.
I still love Hector. He doing his best. 
What do you mean he's only 12?!? What the frick
416 Pages

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Automatically gives me "You've Got Mail" vibes
Yeaaaah, sure you hate him.
You ding dong. He didn't send you the flowers.

Oh and "The Wedding Date"

Lucy: I am down to clown and it's my right to fight.
It's fine. I'm dying alone with my rat dog. 
416 Pages

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland

And my predictions were right.
I had trouble focusing in the middle of the book, but I had a favorite character. He was cool.

That open ended epilogue. 
304 Pages

Rule of Wolves by Leigh Bardugo

Did I switch over to audiobook so that I could finish this because I can't read for crap anymore...yes
So I have some mixed feelings. 
I'm always here for the Zoya/Nikolai content.
All the Royai (Fullmetal Alchemist) vibes, and the Greedling vibes.
I don't have the strength to talk about some things, and I will probably never be able to talk about them.
Sooooo this is World War 2.
There's one of my babies. And another of my babies. And another. I'm counting them. And I'm taking them away from Leigh. 
Roooooolllling Thuuuuuuuunder
American Dragon.
They are so cute and I just want to snuggle them because he just...he loves her. 
Nikolai is iconic and I would die for him. 
Some of the character arcs felt a bit rushed and a bit ooc.
608 Pages

Forest Born by Shannon Hale

"She watched the world like most people breathed air." SAME. SAME. SAME.
Youngest child. SAME.
My friend loves this series and it was her childhood series, and I'm just like...pointing out all of the ways that Rin was traumatized (lowercase t) and her attachment style with her mother and fjdskafljdsa
I feel personally victimized by this entire book. I feel seen and I do not like it.
All of my ships. All of my babies. 
Why is she here. She doesn't even go here.
400 Pages

River Secrets by Shannon Hale

ANKLES
fidslajklfjklsjfklasjfkajdflsa
Look at all of my babies. Just let them be happy.
Me being suspicious of people. Am I connecting all the dots. Yes
So Razo is Jesper....
Look at Finn. I am the cool mom from Mean Girls and the Kardashian mom with the camera. 
I'm just. I can't. 
320 Pages

Enna Burning by Shannon Hale

Finn!! Isi! Geric! All of my babies. 
So much tension. Like everyone about to snap.
Can we please just let Geric take a nap.
All of the yearning. A+ quality content. That's some good stuff.
It's the gaslighting for me.
#friendship is magic
I love the characters. I love the magic. I love the friendshisp. Cavity-inducing tooth-rotting fluff right here.
368 Pages
 

The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale

So one of my friends ADORES this series. and now I know why. the fluff. The absolutely fluff-fest. I'm here for it.
Me knowing that there will be a ship, watching for all of the ships.
djfksjdafkljsadkfljsakl 
Isi is too pure for this world. We don't deserve her.
The Emotional Support Goose. 
The magic system. Chef's kiss. The father figures. Chef's kiss. The friendship. Great. The love interest. Fantastic. We stan men who adore their love interests and treat them with respect.
Geric is just so anxious and I love it. 
Insert the pride and prejudice hand gif, and the cornfield scene from Wicked, and the Ella Enchanted fight scene
If I were to go off on an enneagram tangent I would totally talk about how Isi is definitely a 4 and honestly. I love it (yes it's because I'm a 4).
The audiobook had a full cast and like...I can't.
432 Pages