Paper Princess by Erin Watt

Paper Princess by Erin Watt
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What. Happened.

Did I actually just read that?

This book is like going on a bad date with pretty eye candy. You know you should call it off halfway through dinner, but you just can’t look away long enough to gather your brain to do it.





I feel almost the same way about this book as I do about the show, The Bachelor. I hate that I love it. I also love how much I hate it.

I seriously can’t believe I wasted all that time reading this story, and yet I immediately picked up book two like a starving person grabbing for a single crust of bread. Feed me, Seymore! Feed me!

This book is a midlife crisis in progress and probably the reason why half of Goodreads now needs therapy. I’m up, then I’m down. I’m hot, then I’m cold. I’m in, then I’m out. It’s an *expletives redacted* pop song.





It’s like everything I never needed, and something I’ve always wanted, except when I don’t want it at all, which feels like most of the time, until suddenly I desperately want it all again.





The only thing that makes less sense than this review is this book, and yet there are moments when it feels like it’s ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING and I’m so all in I can’t even fathom turning away. Then I turn away and take a deep breath of normalcy, only to seconds later start whisper singing Total Eclipse of the Heart while clutching this book to my chest (Turn around) and ugly crying (every now and then I fall apart).

This is a mess.

(Once upon a time I was falling in love)

But I kind of want to lay down inside the mess until it swallows me up and I can live inside it.

(Now I'm only falling apart)

This book has turned me into a mess. This is not for the faint of heart, nor is it for the critical, intellectual reader. You’re going to have to just take what comes at you and try to hold on with this one, while squashing down judgment, and releasing reality to the wind.

Goodbye, expectations of some kind or princess or royalty story. Hello strippers and machismo and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, even though this story isn’t even set in Vegas.

I feel I have no other choice here but to do some crazy combination of fangirl and hater math to determine a score for this Beautiful Disaster:

Inner Hopeless Romantic Says: 5 stars with heart eyes

(Turn around)

Logical Head Says: 1 Star and a tragic head shake

(Turn around, bright eyes)

Emotions Say: *%&^$#*&*

(Every now and then I fall apart)

Inner-Drama Queen Says: 10 stars

(And I need you now tonight)

Average score: 4 of the weirdest and most uncertain stars I’ve ever awarded

(And I need you more than ever)

Except when I don’t need you. Because, just no, on so many levels, for so many reasons, it’s a no. No, no no. Except when I forget that it’s a no and I’m all yes again. Yes, yes, yes!





Book 93 read in 2018


Pages: 370

"Heat" by Wolf Specter & Angel Knots

Book 1 in the Fated Mates series focuses on Dane, a dragon shifter, and Wes, his fated mate and just a regular guy.  Dragon shifters have lived among humans protecting them for many years and are not supposed to make themselves known, but when Dane recognizes Wes as his mate he must reveal what he truly is.  I know it sounds weird, but this turned out to be a cute story that worked, even with a very unusual event between the two main characters.  140 pages (Kindle edition).

"Winter Blom" by DJ Jamison

This was a cute love story between a widower and a newspaper intern who is sent to interview him about his metal art.  Lane Cross works construction and does art to support himself and his six year old son who keeps running off his sitters.  He's immediately smitten when he meets Andy Blom, who's going to interview him for the local paper.  Lane tries his best to woo Andy while still dealing with his son's grief over his mother.  Andy is also mourning the death of his mother, so emotions are running high.  There are misunderstandings and lots of snow in this nice, little read.  156 pages (Kindle edition).

"Secrets and Lies" by Amanda Young

This is the first book in the Daywalker Legacy and features two brothers who are vampires.  Cadge won't leave his apartment due to his deep mourning for a dead lover, which leaves Teague to run their club alone.  Soon Teague's own lover stop seeing him, and he panics that nightfeeders may have gotten to him.  This was a different sort of story with gay vampire brothers fighting their own kind and nightfeeders to protect a human.  144 pages (Kindle edition).

"Salvation" by Sloane Kennedy

Book two in The Protectors Series features Seth Nichols, whose parents were murdered and he was tortured when he was 14.  Now 21, he's trying to run his father's shipping company and deal with his PTSD and self-doubt.  He once had an older brother, but he died while serving in the military.  Out of the blue, his brother's fiance, Ronan Grisham, appears and throws Seth's life into even more turmoil because he's had a crush on the man since he was a teen.  Now someone is after Seth, and Ronan will do everything he can to protect him even if it breaks both of their hearts.  Like the previous book in this series, there was a ton of angst, terrible traumas in both men's lives, guilt, and suspense.  I was annoyed at how often Seth and Ronan pushed each other away then changed their minds, but it was still an interesting story.  367 pages (Kindle edition.)

"Out of Nowhere" by Roan Parrish

I really enjoyed the first book in this series, called "In the Middle of Somewhere," and this story focused on Colin Mulligan, one of the brothers of Daniel (the hero in the first book).  In the first book, Colin was a mean, homophobic jerk to his brother.  This story is told from Colin's point of view and explains why he was that way.  We learned at the end of book one that Colin is deeply in the closet; this book shows how that happened.  While Colin isn't nearly as likable as Daniel, the author clearly shows his mental anguish at hiding such a large part of himself from his family and friends.  Although not as good as the first book, mostly because the main characters weren't as sweet as Daniel and his boyfriend, Rex, it was still a compelling story.  300 pages (Kindle edition).

Long Lost by David Morrell

(Posted for Paul Mathews)

His younger brother was kidnapped  by a cult family, raised for decade.  His life was bad, he did bad things.  He’s back and now he wants his brother's family and will kill to get it.

Audio:  7 hrs. 9 min.
Print:  384 pages

"In the Middle of Somewhere" by Roan Parrish

Daniel Mulligan has just moved to Holiday, Michigan, to teach at a small college after finishing his PhD in English.  Originally from Philadelphia, Daniel is a tough and tattooed outcast who's never really fit in with his family or classmates.  His mother died when he was young, and his father and three older brothers (all mechanics) never much cared for him, especially after he told them he was gay.  So Daniel feels especially out of place in the small town until Rex Vale comes back into his life.  The two men met six months earlier when Daniel was in town for an interview with the college and was literally rescued by Rex when he wrecked his rental car in a snowstorm.  They soon begin a relationship, but Daniel has never really dated and Rex doesn't want to get too attached to Daniel due to others in his life leaving him.  But as they grow closer, they discover that being vulnerable and letting someone help you is not the same as being weak.

This was a great book with two memorable and very likable main characters who seem to have little in common but complement each other well.  Rex doesn't talk much but can fix or build just about anything, while Daniel loves his books and overthinks everything.  Secondary characters, especially Daniel's best friend, Ginger, help move the story forward to a satisfying conclusion.  I have already started reading the next in the series.  350 pages (Kindle edition).

"Alex" by S.M. Shade

There was a lot going on in this book.  Alex is an MMA fighter dealing the sudden death of his lover, the impending execution of his father for killing his mother, homophobic fight opponents, hovering older brothers and their wives, a Hawaiian vacation, unwanted attraction to his straight roommate, roommate's major health scare, and more.  The story was told in the alternating POV of Alex and his roommate, Ian.  The author gave readers lots of angst and partial side stories that could have been pared down a bit.  151 pages (Kindle edition).

"A Forbidden Rumspringa" by Keira Andrews

This very well written story focuses on two young men living in a strict Amish sect in northern Minnesota.  Isaac is eighteen and feeling pressure from his parents to start courting a girl so that he can soon marry and start his own family, but he knows he's not ready.  For one thing, he hates farming and must learn some other sort of trade so that he can support himself.  His father sets up an apprenticeship with carpenter David Lantz, a quiet twenty-two-year-old who has become the head of his family after his father dies in the field of a heart attack.  He works hard to support his mother and four younger sisters but is being pushed to join the church and get married.  Although their sect does not allow "rumspringa", Isaac and David take a few prohibited trips into the "English" world where they see movies and eat junk food.  Soon, their friendship turns to love and both must figure out what they are willing to give up, or not, in order to be together.

The details of  strict Amish life and the toll it takes on those who do not or cannot abide by its rules make this much more than the average forbidden love story.  Both Isaac and David have older brothers who could not conform, and their actions have had large influences on them and their desire to please their families.  The terrible angst and guilt these two young men felt was palpable to the reader as was their surprise at falling for each other.  This book was a gripping read, and I can't wait to get ahold of the rest of the series.  224 pages (Kindle edition).

"Clang" by E. Davies

Book two in the Riley Brothers series focuses on oldest brother Jackson, a blacksmith, and Chase, a tattoo artist.  They met in book one and start dating in this story.  They are opposites in a lot of ways, especially when it comes to their families.  Jackson lives next to both of his brothers and is still close to his parents.  Chase is in hiding from his family, who is extremely religious and punishes him for being gay.  When his abusive uncle locates him, Chase knows that he has to protect himself and his budding relationship with Jackson.

I liked both characters but could not get a real feel for what they looked like other than "muscular" (Jackson) and "willowy" (Chase).  The story was also quite anticlimactic.  I expected more from the conflict between Chase and his uncle.  As with the first book, the writing could have used tighter editing as the same adjectives were used multiple times in the same paragraph and sometimes the same sentence (like I just did!).  I wouldn't mind reading book three, which is the youngest brother's story, but only if it is free to purchase like books one and two were.  264 pages (Kindle edition).

"Buzz" by E. Davies

Book 1 in the Riley Brothers series centers on Cameron Riley, a 23-year-old Canadian hockey player who is about to move up to the NHL when an unexpected heart condition forces him to give up the game.  He moves back to his hometown and meets Noah Clark, an art curator.  They hit it off right away, but Cameron fails to disclose to Noah that he was a standout hockey recruit or that he has a worrisome heart problem.  When Noah organizes a hockey-themed art exhibition, Riley's secret threatens to be exposed.

This was a novel with a lot of potential, but Cameron's behavior didn't make much sense to me.  First, I thought he gave up his life of hockey too easily.  He gets dizzy and faints when his heart beats too quickly, but instead of doing everything he can to get it fixed ASAP, he just gives up and buys a house in his hometown without any prospects of a full-time job.  I also didn't understand why he kept his heart condition from Noah.  I will read the second book in the series because I liked the characters (Noah is sweet and a little anxious) and am hopeful that it will be an improvement.  302 pages (Kindle edition).

"My Bleeding Heart" by Melissa Graves

Vampires are real in this first book in the "Mi Corazon Sagrante" series.  Kyle is one of them.  He is nineteen but was turned involuntarily at sixteen.  After accidentally killing someone, he runs to an unnamed city where he meets Brian Preston.  Brian works at a government clinic that feeds and monitors vampires while also studying to be a doctor who specializes in vampire medicine.  They are smitten with each other but know that they will face obstacles, not only because they are gay but because Brian is human.  

This is a good story with an interesting premise, but the oddest part is that it is told in the present tense, which threw me a bit.  It ends with a build up to the next book in the series.  172 pages (Kindle edition).

"That Eighteenth Summer" by Raine O'Tierney

This is the story of Oliver Hannigan, who has just graduated from high school and plans to join the military like his older brother, Benjam, did five years earlier.  However, word comes that spring that Benjam has been killed on duty oversees; this changes Oliver's life in many ways.  His parents both go a little crazy, and his mom begs him not to follow in his brother's footsteps.  And the arrival of Benjam's best friend from the Army adds to Oliver's complications.

This was a well written coming-of-age story, which takes part in Oklahoma and Missouri.  Oliver is forced to grow up quickly after the death of his only sibling, and the author makes him credible and sympathetic.  174 pages (Kindle edition).

"Tonight" by Karen Stivali

This novella uses one of my favorite tropes - friends to lovers.  Derek and Wiley are full time grad students who've been best friends for years.  Derek and his little brother, Davey, an undergrad, have been letting Wiley sleep on their couch for the past three weeks after Wiley had a fight with his roommate and moved out.  Unfortunately for Davey, his five year crush on the straight Wiley makes this situation nearly unbearable until one word changes everything for him.  This is a cute, character driven story told from Davey's point of view.  I liked it even if it wasn't very realistic, but that's why I read fiction.  65 pages (Kindle edition).

"My Brother's Keeper" by Adrienne Wilder

Ellis Harper has lived a solitary life taking care of his mentally disabled older brother, Rudy, who manages to do things he shouldn't when they go out in public.  They become the target of the town bully after Rudy scares the man's girlfriend at the store.  But Ellis and Rudy find a kind of protector, and Ellis a kindred spirit, in Jon Foster, a former cop whose partner was killed because of his mistake.  Helping Ellis take care of Rudy brings Jon out of his depression to find a purpose in life again.  This is book one in the My Brother's Keeper Trilogy.  280 pages (Kindle edition).

"Playing for Keeps" by Avery Cockburn

Fergus Taylor is an architect and reluctant captain of his LGBT football (soccer) team in Glasgow, Scotland, and is trying to recover from a bad breakup when he meets John Burns.  John works for a non-profit that helps immigrants obtain asylum in Scotland and wants Fergus' team to play a charity match to raise money.  The introverted Fergus is wary but wants to help and needs to find a way to get his team back on track after last season's disastrous end.  He and John are attracted to each other but their backgrounds are very different; Fergus is Catholic and John is Protestant.

This was an excellent book with action, romance, family drama, and lots of angst concerning Scotland's sectarianism between Protestants and Catholics.  Fergus and John even have fleece blankets of the Celtic and Rangers football clubs, respectively, in their bedrooms; with the fierce, historic rivalry between the two teams, these blankets symbolize the men's many differences.  The author does a great job of explaining to the reader how sectarianism still affects the Scottish people without getting bogged down in historical details.  I can't wait to read more in this series.  326 pages (Kindle edition).

"Not My Father's Son: A Memoir" by Alan Cumming

Alan Cumming survived a horrible childhood with an abusive father in Scotland to become a very successful actor, writer, singer, producer, and director.  (He won a Tony Award for Cabaret in 1998 and is now a regular on TV's The Good Wife.)  This memoir tells parallel stories from Alan's memories of abuse and his journey as an adult to find out more about his maternal grandfather who died in Malaysia in 1951.  He did the latter for the television show Who Do You Think You Are?  His mother's family were never told the truth about his grandfather's death, and at the same time as filming, Alan's father drops a bombshell on him after more than a decade of silence.  So there are two mysteries that he's trying to solve, and both are bound to cause emotional upheaval for him, his mother, and his older brother.

This is an excellent, well written, and riveting memoir about secrets, lies, misconceptions, and mental illness, and what they do to families.  It is not a complete autobiography of the author's entire life but about how he survived his childhood as well as two enormous revelations that happened in his 40s.  I admired Alan Cumming before I read this and that admiration is even greater now.  Highly recommended.  294 pages.

"Bear, Otter, and the Kid" by TJ Klune

Book description:  "Three years ago, Bear McKenna’s mother took off for parts unknown with her new boyfriend, leaving Bear to raise his six-year-old brother Tyson, aka the Kid.  Somehow they’ve muddled through, but since he’s totally devoted to the Kid, Bear isn’t actually doing much living—with a few exceptions, he’s retreated from the world, and he’s mostly okay with that. Until Otter comes home.  Otter is Bear’s best friend’s older brother, and as they’ve done for their whole lives, Bear and Otter crash and collide in ways neither expect.  This time, though, there’s nowhere to run from the depth of emotion between them.  Bear still believes his place is as the Kid’s guardian, but he can’t help thinking there could be something more for him in the world... something or someone."

This is the first book that I've read by this author and found myself both liking and being annoyed with his writing.   Klune tells an interesting story of abandoned brothers trying to survive day to day with the help of their friends.  Told from Bear's point of view, the reader gets plenty of exposure to his neuroses and inner thoughts, especially his analogy of slowly drowning in the ocean when he gets anxious.  The first part of the story isn't linear, and the chapters are so long that I got a bit confused with the timeline.  It eventually straightened out, though.  My favorite character was the Kid, a smart, intuitive, and compassionate vegan who seemed to be able to deal with life better than Bear.  350 pages (Kindle edition).

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman

Fat Charlie (who isn’t really fat) lives in London, works as a bookkeeper, has a fiancée named Rosie, and all-in-all lives a quiet, uneventful, some might say boring, life.  His fiancée insists Charlie invite his father to his wedding.

Now, Charlie doesn’t have good memories of his father, whom he hasn’t seen since he was 10. His father made fun of Charlie, played practical jokes on him, and nicknamed him ‘Fat Charlie’ (even though he isn’t fat). But he dutifully calls his father in Florida to invite him to the wedding, only to be told that his father just died.

Charlie goes to Florida for his father’s funeral, where a neighbor tells him he has a brother. He never knew he had a brother, and asks how to find him. He is told to ask a spider. So he does.

Big mistake! His brother shows up, gets him fired from his job, sleeps with his fiancée, and creates general havoc in his life. However, Fat Charlie’s attempts to get rid of his brother lead to tales of gods, malevolent birds, murder most foul, and other ‘otherworldly’ happenings, as in all Gaiman’s books. If you like fantasy, you will like this book.

416 pages