Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh

So the MC grew on me. All it took was some Trauma (besides the existing trauma) and character growth.
Ok it was good.
448 Pages

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe by Jenny Bayliss

She owns a used bookstore...fsjkda
FLOWERS.
Also like.....I love that we talking about privilege and like....how GB is like.....sus....
I will protect Isaac with my life. 
429 Pages

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

fdskallfjlsakflja;;gsldfhjfjkdsafjklsfdjklfds
Insert that scene of Rita Skeeter talking to Harry: "boy of 12" "...14"
I just. Love all of this. The fanart/fanfic aspect, the art and the writing, the angst and the mental health issues, and like jfkldsajklsfs.
I love Wallace and I love Eliza and I just wanna protect them. 
Also baby brothers. fjkdls
432 Pages

To Sir Phillip With Love by Julia Quinn

--Just a warning--this is a rant...and also maybe a soap box. There might be spoilers, but also like meh. 

Hey it's like The Sound of Music (the trickster children, and the single father who hecka absent but well-meaning, and the girl who comes in) except I don't get to stare at Christopher Plummer for three hours, and instead of Nazis, there's stigmas against mental illness and people who struggle with suicidal thoughts. Oh and women. 
Yes. The mentally ill do recognize that they're typically seen as burdens. That's typically what hits them on the head in their brains. But all humans are burdens because that is the inherent nature of being human. Humans take up space.
I just love it when someone says "Your problems don't matter or count or compare to mine because I've suffered more,"
I really wanted to like Phillip... Because there were parts of him that were so good--he cared a lot about his children and he was nerdy--and then he would ruin it by saying something stupid. Maybe I'm just sensitive to depression and suicide for personal reasons, because other people enjoyed the book and thought it was romantic because he's a suffering hero or whatever. I think his first wife suffered more than him.
I recognize that Julia Quinn was trying to "explore mental illness in the time period." I don't think she did it well. She may have "represented" the time period and what mental illness was like, but like...no. It's fiction, so that means that you can treat your characters better than the time period would have.
416 Pages

The Nobleman's Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee

My baby is so anxious and I feel so seen. 

"I ain't going to no secondary location"
Percy again. for the win. 
"you'd apologize if someone poured soup in your lap" ...I know that reference

This book has the audacity to make me cry because it makes me feel seen. Like.... the tension of having conversations with people. Staaaaaap. Also like...Sibling relationships in relation to trauma and like...working on sibling relationships. 
It's the mental illness and anxiety representation for me. 
592 Pages

The Ones We're Meant to Find by Joan He

....I am confused...like..
THERE'S THE TITLE
Istg if you hurt my child emotionally.
Hero.
Are you. No. That's just. um. no. 
WHAT
What?
Ok so I'm just confused. And I'm hurt. And honestly. Problematic characters make my life difficult. 
384 Pages

Dear Evan Hansen by Val Emmich, with Steven Levenson, Benj Pasek, and Justin Paul

Soooooo Evan's anxiety..... I feel seen.
Also all the self-loathing and feeling like a burden.....
I loved the musical (I haven't actually seen it, but I love the music!) so getting to be in Evan's head and see Connor's perspective....
I love that the audiobook was read by the actors that play Evan and Connor (and we get to hear Zoey singing).
368 Pages

Birthday by Meredith Russo

Birthday by Meredith Russo
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

My god. This is absolutely stunning.

It’s an aching, haunting look at navigating true friendship, love, trauma, mental health disorders, being transgender, and unequivocally loving someone transgender, despite negative public perspectives.

It also has the most positive depiction of healthy masculinity that I’ve seen in a YA book in ages. This split journey of Morgan trying to grow into her true self and Eric trying to hold strong and be his true self, despite being surrounded by such toxic views of masculinity, is a combo that was just utterly glorious and enchanting.

I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed a story this much, and I read almost 450 books a year. There’s something about this one that is just so special that I’m sure I’ll read it again and again and again and again.

And I listened to the author interview at the end, and It’s just as wonderful as the book. Now I can’t quit crying and also feeling so happy that such an amazing book exists for every kid, teen, and adult who always needed and wanted a story like this and also for all of them who never wanted it or never knew they needed it but still did.

Meredith Russo is a force to be reckoned with. You never know with a debut author, when their first book is so sublime, if they’ll ever write anything again that you love that much. But I love this as much, or maybe even just a smidge more than IF I WAS YOUR GIRL, which doesn’t even seem possible.

Thank you to NetGalley and the Publisher for providing me an arc for review. My apologies that this review is a bit late.

Pages: 288

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This story is everything that I love about humanity, disguised beneath the irritable exterior of an antihero. I gave it 5 stars, but it deserves at least 7.

I would like to really talk about this story, and the many different themes and meanings. However, it’s almost impossible to do that without spoilers, and I think it’s best to read this one without knowing anything about it.

In the real world, I would probably avoid Ove, due to his prickly exterior and stubbornness, which would be a real shame, as I enjoy him so much on the page. That’s why I love literature and this story, in particular. It tackles a lot of heavy topics in a very heartfelt and clever way.

I adore Ove and his story. It's messy perfection.

Book 273 read in 2018

Pages: 337

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter by Erika L. Sánchez
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was a solid read, and there were some things I really loved about this story, particularly the culture clashes within Julia's family. She was such a raw character, and it kind of hurt to like her.

I only rated this down a bit, because it tackled too many issues to handle them all thoroughly. I sometimes felt there were threads that weren't well-addressed, and I think I would have rather those issues been left out than so underplayed.

The disputes with her mother held my attention the most, and the mystery of her sister was fun at first but ended up being a bit disappointing after I spent so much time guessing and making up more interesting back stories for the sister than what actually occurred.

I enjoyed the diversity, unique perspectives, and richness of cultures in this story. Julia is a memorable character.

There are some heavy topics tackled here, so if you're a sensitive reader, this may not be the story for you.

Pages: 352

Among the Mad: Maisie Dobbs Novel, book 6, by Jacqueline Winspear

It's Christmas Eve 1931. On the way to see a client, Maisie Dobbs witnesses a man commit suicide on a busy London street. The following day, the prime minister's office receives a letter threatening a massive loss of life if certain demands are not met - and the writer mentions Maisie by name. After being questioned and cleared by Detective Chief Superintendent Robert MacFarlane of Scotland Yard's elite Special Branch, she is drawn into MacFarlane's personal fiefdom as a special adviser on the case.
Meanwhile, Billy Beale, Maisie's trusted assistant, is once again facing tragedy as his wife, who has never recovered from the death of their young daughter, slips further into melancholia's abyss. Soon Maisie becomes involved in a race against time to find a man who proves he has the knowledge and will to inflict death and destruction on thousands of innocent people.
303 pages

My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This story was good and offered something a bit different from all the others that deal with the same topic (teen suicide). I have been a bit weary of this topic in YA novels lately, so I read this story at the encouragement of a friend.

In this novel, two teens meet at an online suicide website. Then they meet up in person and decide to become suicide partners, to help each other see through their intentions/wishes to die. The premise sounds upsetting, but I found a lot of the story to be interesting and hopeful.

The first 75% is beautifully written and captivating. The last 25% of the story was predictable, and for me, it was too easily resolved on all fronts for such a complex situation. At the same time, it also let some loose threads fly free, rather than wrapping them up after putting so much focus on them, which is why I dropped a star. This is not to suggest I hated the ending, because I don't. It was a solid ending to a good story. It's just wasn't wrapped up as well as I hoped it would be.

I'd still recommend it to other YA contemporary readers who are fascinated by heavy topics but like a good dose of hopeful moments.

Pages:  320

The Program Series by Suzanne Young

The Program by Suzanne Young   (BOOK 1)
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When suicide becomes an epidemic among teenagers, Sloane and James have to play by the unspoken rules, every second, in order to stay out of The Program:

1. Don't cry. Ever.
2. Feel nothing or at least appear not to have any real or strong emotions.
3. Attend all assigned therapy and say only what is expected, never the truth.
4. Never answer the daily suicide quiz questions truthfully. There's only one set of right answers, and everybody knows it.

Basically, to survive, teenagers must live in a world of lies, or they will get sent to The Program, which will recondition them by removing their past, including complete memories of people and life events, before returning them to the world empty, numb, and "cured." When a best friend goes into The Program, a complete stranger comes back out. This is obviously all for the teens benefit, in order to keep them safe from harm and preserve future generations.

I had no idea what this was about when I started reading, and at first I was extremely skeptical. However, this story blew me away. The concept was unexpected, and the way the story unfolds was fascinating. I spent half the book being indignant and the rest of it being stressed out and worried, so it's the kind of book that demands an emotional investment.

Pages: 432


The Treatment by Suzanne Young     (BOOK 2)
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is book two and the final, official book in the series, though there is a short novella that follows, and there are now two books the precede this series.

This was a good finale overall, but I didn't like it quite as much as book one. I don't know if it's just me lately, but I felt like this ending was too abrupt for me. It's not that the story is short. It's more about the way it all gets wrapped up. It's very fast, sudden, and unexpected, and then the story just breezes forward to address people's lives in the after phase.

I guess I wanted a bit more of a climax, but instead, we reached the point where the peak of the story should exist and there was no big bang. Instead, the story just sheared off from the last high point before the climax, to the falling action that ties up loose ends and finalizes a story. Personally, I wanted a big bang up of a conclusion, with gradually decreasing tension until the story was wrapped up, but this book was missing the high point, which felt like a bit of a letdown after all that reading.

Despite that, I still enjoyed the book and series as a whole.

Pages: 368

The Recovery by Suzanne Young   (NOVELLA, BOOK 2.5)
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This 2.5 novella isn't bad, but it's not necessary. It's not adding anything to the story line or characters, and it's not that much fun to read. If you want to watch a character spend more time feeling like a crappy person for past decisions, then go ahead and read it. By the time book two ended, I had seen and heard enough of that already, so this was just excess that didn't do much for me.

My favorite part was probably the exploration of the growing friendship between James and Realm, which was actually interesting and almost sweet, in the strangest sort of way.

Had the story shown some more character growth, I might have been a bit more interested, but it felt like the story was a lot more of the same stuff I already knew and had already heard. The funny part, is that it deals with a lot of dark, twisty emotions, which normally fascinates me, but this just did not pull me in and felt very repetitive.

Pages: 78

Falling into Place by Amy Zhang

Falling into Place by Amy Zhang
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This YA contemporary novel about a mean girl who intentionally drives her car into a tree and hovers on the edge between life and death is probably more of a 2.5 for me, though I rounded up to 3, because the writing style was very interesting. The problem for me was that the style was fascinating but also strangely distancing. I felt like the story held me at arm's length, and so I returned the favor.

Also, the MC is not at all likable and isn't especially redeemable, nor does she show any major growth in the story. I often enjoy unlikable main characters, but that can't be their only unique quality. There has to be something more to them or the story if it's going to hold my attention. This just wasn't for me. While I really liked some of the things about the writing style, I think both If I Stay and Before I Fall were both more fascinating, emotional, and showed greater depth than this.

Pages: 320

Stories from the Shadowlands by Sarah Fine

Stories from the Shadowlands by Sarah Fine
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is an enjoyable companion to the Guards of the Shadowlands series and should be read after completing the series. Many of these stories are told from a male perspective, particularly Malachi's perspective, which was an interesting change of pace. If you adored the trilogy, then you will definitely want to read this, just so you can spend a bit more time in a fascinating world.

The first story is the longest, encompassing about half the book, and it's Malachi's story, told through journal entries, from when he becomes a Guard of the Shadowlands through Lela's time in the Shadowlands.

Pages: 252

I Was Here by Gayle Forman

I Was Here by Gayle Forman
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This story is not bad, but it's also not particularly memorable and didn't offer anything new to this topic for me. Perhaps I've just read a few too many best friend commits suicide stories.

YA Contemporary
Pages: 304

Sanctum by Sarah Fine

Sanctum by Sarah Fine
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Well, this book made me want to go straight to hell.

When Lela's best friend Nadia kills herself, Lela sneaks through the Suicide Gates of hell, in an attempt to rescue Nadia, which is where she happens upon both brutal demons and the leather-clad, blade-wielding Guards of the Shadowlands. Everything just gets better. . . or perhaps I should say worse, from there.

YA Fantasy/Paranormal
Pages: 448

"Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic" by Alison Bechdel

After hearing about this graphic novel memoir for years, I finally got around to reading it.  The author grew up with distant parents and two younger brothers in rural Pennsylvania.  Her father was an English teacher and part-time mortician at his family's business.  ("Fun home" is short for "funeral home".)  Alison candidly draws and discusses her relationship with her father, a cold, tyrannical, and exacting man with a huge secret . . . he is gay.  He dies soon after this is revealed to his college-aged daughter, who herself has just come out as a lesbian.  Because of this great revelation and his closely followed death, Alison goes back through her childhood and analyzes her father's behavior, obsessions, and interactions.  In my opinion, this book deserves all the of praise it has received because it conveys so much so smartly and so efficiently.  The drawings are economical with few colors yet convey everyone's emotions, particularly confusion, very well.  The book has been made into a musical that won 5 Tony Awards earlier this year.  232 pages.

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste NG

16-year-old Lydia Lee is dead. Her body is found in a lake near her small Ohio town. Her dad, a Chinese American college professor, her mother, her brother and sister, are sure someone killed her. The police believe it is a suicide.

As the story unfolds, there are multiple layers of family dynamics and small-town 1960's American values as pertains to those 'different' from the norm of white, middle class homogenous citizens.

This is a profoundly moving study of the way families evolve, and the communication, or lack thereof, that leads to sometimes tragic outcomes.



298 pages

Sycamore Row by John Grisham

(Posted for Paul Mathews)

A very rich, old recluse hangs himself but leaves 90% of his millions to his caretaker.  The will hopefully makes up for injustices in his family’s past. 

Audio:  18 hrs. 27 min.

Print:  656 pages