I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

(this is probably going to be a lame review, because I don't have words for it, except that I love that Jennette shared her story, because like.....sharing stories is hecka imporant)
Some of Jennette's story really resonated with me and like..oof.
I don't have words, but like...
I love Jennette. She's cool. I'd be friends with her.
320 Pages

Beach Read by Emily Henry

"January is a unique name...It's not like I'm a Christy or a Christine" ....rude. 
Maybe depressed writers can only write depressing books...laughs uncomfortably
"promise not to fall in love with me"
Alexa play basically every song from Folklore cause it could be relevant.
hey look that's trauma that's been normalized when it shouldn't have been.
It's the people watching and the bouncing ideas of each other and being neighbors at the lake for me. 
I will protect Gus with literally everything in me--and also I relate to him because he has EMOTIONS that he wants to understand.
384 Pages

This Will All Be Over Soon: A Memoir by Cecily Strong

This Will All Be Over Soon: A Memoir by Cecily Strong

Cecily Strong has a tight bond with her cousins, Owen and Leda. In early 2020, Owen passed away from glioblastoma, leaving Cecily and the rest of her family devastated. When the coronavirus pandemic hit two months later, Cecily was unable to bury herself in work as a cast member at Saturday Night Live. Living in New York City, in the epicenter of the virus, and facing months of isolation with few things to distract her, Cecily absconded to rural Hudson Valley, seeking a way to process her grief. There, trying to make sense of the new life she was facing, Cecily spent months writing, with the result being the diary-like This Will All Be Over Soon.

 

272 pages.

The Fire Between High & Lo by Brittainy C. Cherry

The Fire Between High & Lo by Brittainy C. Cherry
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When you have to stop 2/3 of the way through a book for a Rhianna/Eminem song and dance break, you know it’s a good book. Intense, angsty, dark, dramatic, painful, and neurotic. But good.

Book 292 read in 2018

Page: 324

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

Summary: "The monster showed up after midnight. As they do.

But it isn’t the monster Conor’s been expecting. He’s been expecting the one from his nightmare, the nightmare he’s had nearly every night since his mother started her treatments, the one with the darkness and the wind and the screaming....

This monster, though, is something different. Something ancient, something wild. And it wants the most dangerous thing of all from Conor. It wants the truth." -Amazon

First of all, we all need to bow down to Mr. Patrick Ness.  He is a wordsmith of the ages.

This story is beautiful in it's complicated simplicity.  Conor's mother is dying of cancer, and he must learn how to face not only this monster killing her but also his feelings and future without her.  The characters have depth and imperfections and there are definitely some tearjerker scenes, especially between Conor and his mother.  I'll leave you with a quote that resonated with me in a deep way: 

“Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.”

4.5/5

224 pages

180 Seconds

180 Seconds by Jessica Park
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was so compelling that I couldn't put it down. Park is killing it in the NA realm, and I can't believe I didn't read this book sooner after loving Flat Out Love (I confess, I just realized this is the same author---so oops. I should have grabbed more of her work sooner). I suspect I'll go try to get my hands on everything else she's written now, in case it's as equally fabulous as the 4 novels I've now read by her.

Not only is the basic concept intriguing (2 people stare at each other in silence for 180 seconds with unexpected results), but this story has so much depth, with such flawed but truly lovable characters. It moves in unexpected ways and feels fresh from other stories that I've read that are actually somewhat similar.

I have to confess that I get anxious around Indie novels, because I've had far more bad experiences than good ones. However, I think that's partly on me and my apparently poor ability to choose fantastic reads like this. Instead of being scared, or avoiding them out of fear they will be terrible, I should do my homework better to find indie novels that are going to be a good fit for me, because there's so much to miss when I overlook gems like this.

That being said, I'm taking suggestions below for people's favorite indie novels of all time. Just don't rec your own book, your best friend's book, or a family member's book. I get way too much of that on social media and am tired of advertising. No advertising/promotion here. I just want to hear honest comments about the Indie novels that you love to pieces and couldn't live without. If I see something that resonates with me, I'll be sure to add it to my list.

Book 50 read in 2018

Pages: 300

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

#BecRereads2018

I both love and hate that I reread this gorgeous, funny story that fist punches people right in the soft places. The previous review still stands.

Book 5 read in 2018

Pages: 313


PREVIOUS REVIEW:

Eff.

This novel destroyed me from the inside out. I avoided it, because I thought it was going to be another Cancer Kid book that makes me cry. It is (a Cancer Kid book) and it did (make me cry), but it went way beyond that. I think it set a new standard that other authors in this genre will struggle to live up to.

I let this story into my life, all the gorgeous notions and metaphors and ideas and words. I almost wanted to be the characters, full of wit, humor, life, and individuality, despite how difficult, messy, and painful their lives actually were.

And then the grenade exploded. The shrapnel pierced me, and I stood by and let it happen. Because some stories are worth bleeding over, worth crying for, and worth screaming at the universe for.

The ache it leaves is a tragic side effect...of Epic Stories, not Dying. Well, both actually.

Read with caution: I think it left a new scar on my well-traveled reader's heart.

Drums, Girls & Dangerous Pie by Jordan Sonnenblick

Drums, Girls & Dangerous Pie by Jordan Sonnenblick
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoy everything by Sonnenblick. He just has a way of making readers feel really connected and invested in his characters and stories. Plus, the stories all take you through a full range of emotions, with enough humor to break up the heavy moments.

I did this backwards, because I read the 2nd book years, without realizing it was part of a series. It worked out fine, but I'm glad I finally swung back around to this one. There's something to be said about a story that captures your attention right from the start and propels you forward.

Pages: 273

"Healing Jacob" by Nicole Stewart

This angsty romance between a homeless musician and a bakery owner fell flat for me.  Neither main character was three dimensional, and I couldn't invest myself in their story.  The misuse of commas was distracting.  I think the writer has potential, and a good editor could have helped with the flow of the story and fleshing out the characters.  166 pages (Kindle edition).

Zac and Mia by A.J. Betts

Zac and Mia by A.J. Betts
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book attempted to wrap fingers around my heart, but it was just so dark, angry, and slow paced that I wouldn’t let it. Every time it hooked a finger around my heart, I would peel it back before it could manage another.

I think I’ve read too many Cancer Kid books to be taken in by this one. It’s not that it’s not good. I enjoyed the story, overall. It’s just that it’s not stellar, and if I have to depress myself in regards to this topic, I really want stellar.

Pages: 304

Noggin by John Corey Whaley

Noggin by John Corey Whaley
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This was so bizarre in the best sort of way. The 16 year-old main character was the 2nd person to survive a full body transplant, after being “dead” (having his head cryogenically frozen) for 5 years after cancer wrecked his body.

When he wakes up, he feels as if he has been asleep for a few days, but everyone in his life is 5 years older. They have moved on with their lives without him and grown up and apart in all different kinds of ways, having never expected to see him again, but he feels and thinks the same.

The story tackled all kinds of big questions and issues in a way that was unique, unexpected, and serious yet somehow never too heavy.

Pages: 368

Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy

Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This story is emotionally complicated. Alice is diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukemia, and she convinces Harvey, her best friend, who she is also in love with, to help her right all the wrongs before she dies.

However, righting wrongs for Alice is as much about punishing people and getting revenge as it is about giving people or herself hope. In a lot of moments, Alice isn't a likable character, and she knows it. She is aware that her personality can be harsh or irritating, and her actions can be hurtful. She just doesn't know how to both be true to herself and be someone more likable. I think it's this part of the story that I related to the most.

Another thing I really like is that the story shifts POVs throughout, from Alice to Harvey, and the story is told in both THEN and NOW, giving us 4 different perspectives to help pull the story together and explain who Alice and Harvey really are. It shows us who they are both separate and together and also before her diagnosis, during her illness, and then after.

Pages: 352

The Fault in our Stars by John Green

Hazel Grace Lancaster is 16, and has lived with stage-IV terminal cancer for three years. She is living ‘My Best Life’, but her mother thinks she is depressed, and pressures her to go to a support group. There she meets Augustus Waters, a 17-year-old boy who has ostensibly beaten cancer, even though he lost his leg to it.

Hazel Grace and Augustus are both irreverent, funny, and refuse to pity themselves, or be pitied. They discuss existential questions of live and death, and slowly fall in love.  They discuss their ‘cancer perks’ – things cancer kids get that regular kids don’t.  They talk about ‘paragons of stoic cancer-kid heroism’. In other words, Hazel Grace and Augustus are not your typical teenagers.

This book is a love story, if an unconventional one, ineffably sad and yet somehow funny and uplifting and tender.  I tend to shy away from ‘best books…’, but am really glad I gave this one a chance.

 337 pages.