The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

Ok but the mention of how people who were able to go home after 9/11 and be comforted were able to recover. 
I'm just...going to be snapping...because like...yes it's saying stuff I know, but I listen to trauma podcasts. 
and like.. how trauma makes it difficult for a person to judge if a situation is dangerous or not because of the amygdala. 
"Emotions assign value to experiences, and thus are the foundation of reason" snaaaaaaaaaaaaaps.
Reads a book about trauma. *talks about depersonalization. *laughs uncomfortably
Go off about the DSM5. Go off. I'll drink my tea and love it. 
So I knew this book was going to attack me...but like...
Also I really appreciate that we talk about how trauma doesn't stop affecting the body and the mind when we're not thinking about trauma, and how often times victims of trauma know that their reaction is an over-reaction, but they can't stop it because the body has trained itself to keep itself safe. 
464 Pages

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

 

Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett

Pages: 304

Rating: 4 out of 5

This book combines science, psychology, passion and inspiration in equal parts to teach anyone how to identify and manage their emotions. Author Marc Brackett believes that the mental well-being of Americans is shockingly poor, which leads to physical health issues, financial issues and increased stress for all of our society. Most of us have been taught since childhood to be seen and not heard, to hide all of our emotions, bury them and not even acknowledge them. Most people will answer "fine" if you ask how they are doing, not matter what is going on in their life. 

Marc Brackett is a professor in Yale University's Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. 

After an uncle listened to him and gave him permission to feel and express his emotions and encouraged him to talk about them and to deal with them, he realized he wasn't stuck, he wasn't alone and that it is okay to have negative emotions.

He created a system titled, RULER, to help people understand and take charge of their emotions. He has seen first-hand improvements in grades, school attendance, and a decrease in dropouts, when teachers and school administrators have started using RULER in their classrooms. Since then he has also lead workshops for numerous businesses and organizations. 

This book could be helpful for someone seeking to improve their emotional well-being and stress and also for parents and supervisors of any kind.  

Thank You Audiobooks!

Lately, I've been having trouble focusing for long enough to get through longer books. Thank you audiobooks for being there for me! This is a tribute to all the audiobooks that have helped me get through the past few months: 

Transcendent Kingdom by Yaa Gyasi

I wasn't a huge fan of this one, but I totally get why people liked it. I liked the conflicts between faith and science, adding the immigrant experience, grief, and drug addiction on top of it. The complexity of it made the story feel very real to me. I also enjoyed the little scientific discussions scattered throughout, giving context and relevant analogies to the story.  Plus it's narrated by my faaaaavorite reader, Bahni Turpin. It was an engaging read, and this book would be great for those who like literary fiction and novels highlighting social issues. 

261 pages

Rage by Bob Woodward

I know, I know. Everyone is sick of politics by now. Why would I put myself through this book? (To be fair, I read this in October) It's partly because I've enjoyed Woodward's other books. He asks very good interview questions, and the answers given by the subject in this one are... mindboggling. Not surprising, just perplexing. I really liked how the audiobook had the actual recorded interview segments included in the Appendix. That was cool. This would be a good read for anyone who actually isn't sick of politics right now (so what, that's maybe 50 or so people, if that?).

452 pages

Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam

The premise of the novel is really good! A family is on vacation, only the homeowners show up to stay while the world is falling apart around them. My biggest issue with the book is that the actual details of the apocalypse are never described besides flashes and tidbits. Was it nuclear war? Climate change? Power outages? Something else? Who knows! That isn't really the point though. This is a well written apocalypse novel for dystopian junkies and literary fiction lovers alike. 

241 pages

Patient H.M.: A Story of Memory, Madness and Family Secrets by Luke Dittritch

Dittritch is a journalist, but his grandfather was the brain surgeon who sliced out Henry Molaison's hippocampus, leaving him incapable of storing long term memories. I remember learning about H.M. in a psychology course, but this book got so deep into the personal details of the people surrounding Henry's life. Dude, this doctor was nuts! He climbed the Brooklyn Bridge when it was still under construction! He experimented on (mostly female) asylum patients  just to see what would happen after chopping up their brains! He even conducted surgery on his own wife! That is seriously messed up. Also, the psychologist who worked with Henry later in life was so possessive of him and her research that we can't even look back at her research notes anymore. *insert anger emoji* This story was engaging and shocking, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone with an interest in medicine, psychology, or narrative nonfiction. 

440 pages

Last Minute Additions

A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor by Hank Green

I loved his first book, An Absolutely Remarkable Thing,  in which metal alien statues-affectionately named Carl-land all over the planet and people go nuts. This sequel is even better! Carl is back, and saves a primary character through alien prosthetics, leaving her with an android-like appearance. The group of friends then have to face off against a hyper-realistic virtual reality gaming company with much more nefarious intentions.I think what I like most about these books is that the author is not afraid to comment on tough current issues-income inequality, social media conspiracies, information privacy, the list goes on and on. This was a very fun science fiction duology!

452 pages

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor

Binti is the first of her people to attend Oomza University, even though it means she will be ostracized by her community. However, trying to maintain her traditions in a high-tech society also does not help her fit in with her peers. Then the Meduse attack.. I was amazed at how much world building Okorafor was able to put into 90 pages. This was a really good novella, and I will probably pick up the others in the short series.

90 pages

Read Harder Task #17


Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi

A loose retelling of Snow White set in a Massachusetts small town during the 1950's/60's. Boy escapes her abusive father, eventually falling in love with a carpenter. Their daughter, Bird, is dark skinned, and exposes them as African Americans passing for white. Honestly, I thought the plot dragged a bit, but that final plot twist at the end makes the story worth it.

308 pages

Read Harder Task #2



Fashion Jewelry: A beginner's guide to jewelry making by Courtney Legenhausen

I've been dabbling with some jewelry making for a while, and I thought I'd finally pick up a book to learn the actual techniques, instead of my current stumbling along with Pinterest and Youtube videos. Apparently I was opening jump rings wrong. I also know the correct way to finish a piece. And crimp beads are lifesavers. With lots of step by step pictures, I thought it was useful for a beginner.

175 pages




Florence Adler Swims Forever by Rachel Beanland

I wish they would have told me this was based on a true story up front, because I thought the premise was ridiculous-if this was fiction, why would someone write such a dismal novel? Florence, while training to prepare for her English Channel swim, accidentally drowns. Her family decides not to tell her sister, because they are afraid she will get upset and miscarry as she did before. So, we get six months of family members frantically trying to keep a secret. Meanwhile, there's a weird subplot about Florida real estate? I was not impressed.

309 pages




The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo

Xiomara feels unheard by her family, her church, and to some extent, her friends. Secretly dating Aman, and forced into confirmation classes by her mother, she channels her frustrations into her notebook. She finally finds her voice through an invitation to join her school's poetry slam club-allowing her to blossom. The audiobook of this is sooo good, and hearing the poetry spoken by the actual author is quite effective.

361 pages

Read Harder Task #8


The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue

This intense story follows the lives of three women in an Irish quarantined maternity ward over three days during the flu of 1918. The story is brutal, refusing to shy away from the reality of medical interventions, nauseating symptoms, and the brutality of poverty and the Irish orphanage system of the time. This book was very detailed, emotional and shocking. Definitely not for everyone, but I enjoyed it.

295 pages




Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh 

When Henry Silver arrives as a new resident of Greenhollow, his interest in folklore leads him to investigate the Wild Man of the wood. Dryads, old curses, a mysterious past, teen abductions, and a gentle romance compose this creative fantasy retelling of the Green Man myth. I thought it was a great debut, and I plan to look out for Tesh's next book.

109 pages




The Tea Dragon Festival by Katie O'Neill

A companion novel to The Tea Dragon Society, this graphic novel provides some backstory for two society members of the first book. They return to Silverleaf village, where everyone lives alongside tea dragons. we meet a young dragon who has just awoken from an unintended 80 year nap. Once again the artwork is beautiful, the characters are diverse, and the tea dragons are adorable. I never thought I would see sign language in a graphic novel-it was very well done!

131 pages



Too Much and Never Enough by Mary L. Trump

I've been trying to stay away from reading political stuff right now (easier said than done), but the premise for this family narrative and memoir was too tempting. Mary's personal experiences, familial knowledge and clinical Ph.D psychologist's expertise give us a unique character study that certainly explains... a lot. Toxic families create toxic people. A very interesting read.

225 pages





The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

The reviews for this book were so positive, but I thought it was so bad. I get it, it's a memoir about grief, but using obscure references to celebrities and writers just left me lost and confused. Way too much name dropping, and not really much emotion, considering her situation. If I wasn't listening to the audiobook, I probably would not have finished this one.

227 pages




You Brought Me the Ocean by Alex Sanchez, Julie Maroh (ill.)

A coming of age story about friends drifting apart, college applications, and discovering your truth. Of course, the main character lives in a desert and has magical powers that react to water-you know, just to make it interesting. I don't think I've ever seen a comic focused entirely on Aqualad. I love how DC has been embracing such diverse characters lately. This was fun!

186 pages



And now I am FINALLY caught up so I don't have to do these crazy long posts.

Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us by Joe Palca

Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us by Joe Palca
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Okay. I could be snarky and talk about everything about this book that is a bit annoying, but the reality is that this a strange and interesting start into researching what annoyance is, how it is defined, and what qualities or factors help make something annoying.

Unfortunately, there is not even proof that annoyance actually exists as a true emotion, and that it isn’t just a mislabeled gradient or combination of other emotions, such as a low level of anger or frustration. On a language scale, we all agree annoying exists, and we know exactly which things annoy us, even if don’t all define annoying in the same way. On a science scale, defining annoyance is an entirely different matter.

This book goes off on some long tangents in random directions, and it tries to justify why certain things are so annoying in terms of senses (sounds, smells, tastes, etc). I would have liked more information on the human/behavioral aspects of annoyance than what I got, but this isn’t a bad overall perspective on annoyance. I found some of the side research that is referenced quite interesting, particularly the commentary on those with perfect pitch, even though it wasn’t the kind of information I expected to receive from this book.

The book does try to count/label the different things that tend to annoy people, but the reality is that what is annoying is different to everyone. Sure, there are underlying factors such as pitch/tone, repetition, past experiences, uncertainty, culture, bodily functions, etc, but there’s no way to quantify how much of something it actually takes to annoy a certain person in any moment. Basically, there are so many variables when it comes to annoyance, so there’s no quick answer.

If you were hoping to read this book to figure out what makes people in your everyday life so annoying, just forget it. You’re more likely to figure out what makes you so irritated by others, rather than what makes them so annoying. So what it boils down to is that the human factor controls annoyance. Even when researched, what is attractive to a person in one moment could become annoying to them in the next.

The thought I liked the best is that extreme traits, which are often a strength, can become annoying, because of how often that trait is exposed. For example, someone who is kind and agreeable can later be seen as a doormat, and someone who is strong and outspoken can often, after many times of speaking out, be seen as stubborn or domineering. While these initial traits are admirable, they can start to appear the opposite, the more times someone experiences those. The problem is, those are still good traits in people, but the constant repetition of them becomes tiresome or frustrating to people. In reality, if we appreciate these traits in people, then we should not be annoyed when they display these traits. However, we are human, and our annoyance is not always logical. We are predisposed to be annoyed by the repetition, so sometimes we are annoyed, whether it is fair or not.

One example of this would be when a person says they love how funny their partner is and that he/she is so laid back and doesn’t overreact to anything, but then later they decide that they hate how their partner is immature, makes childish jokes, and doesn’t take anything seriously. In a small dose, these traits were admirable. The repetition is what makes an admirable trait become annoying with time. So basically you are guaranteed to annoy the person you are in a relationship with, and if it’s a fatal attraction, you’re going to annoy them with the very thing you used to attract them in the first place.

Good luck, people. It’s a cold, hard world, and unfortunately, this book did not find that annoyance will keep you warm at night.

Book 45 read in 2018

Pages: 272

PS: If you were not annoyed by my review, then I probably didn’t make it long enough and should have repeated myself a few more times, while humming a dissonant tone, and burning an acidic stick of incense, while standing too close to you. ;)

"The Power of Sensitivity: Success Stories by Highly Sensitive People Thriving in a Non-sensitive World" by Ted Zeff, Ph.D.

This book is an accumulation of short essays written by highly sensitive people.  High sensitivity is an innate trait with the tendency to process information more deeply, be easily overstimulated, have increased emotional reactivity and empathy, and have an increased perception of subtleties.  Although research shows that about 20% of the population are highly sensitive people (HSPs), we are not very valued in our society.  We are usually told "you're too sensitive" or "just get over it" or "be more sociable" and are made to feel like there is something wrong with us.  This book shows HSPs having success in many aspects of life by using their high sensitivity to enhance the world around them.  Quite a few suggestions are given for improving the quality of life, including self-care, somatic healing, releasing guilt, risk-taking, and more.  It was inspiring to read how so many HSPs have come to accept and value their high sensitivity.  I highly recommend first reading the most authoritative book on HSPs, "The Highly Sensitive Person: How To Thrive When The World Overwhelms You" by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., before reading this one.  186 pages.

End of Watch by Stephen King

If you thought Brady Hartsfield was finished after Holly Gibney delivered that brain injuring blow from a ball bearing filled sock, think again.  Despite the drool and vacant stare, Brady has discovered how to manipulate others with his brain, and he has begun even more dangerous than when he plowed through a gathering of job seekers with the Mercedes in Mr. Mercedes.  Of course, this is simply unbelievable, leaving the fate of hundreds of gullible teens in the hands of  retired police detective Bill Hodges, his business partner, Holly Gibney, and college student, Jerome Robinson.
This is the third novel in the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, and it is the most terrifying. When Bill and Holly are called to a suicide scene with ties to the Mercedes Massacre, they find themselves pulled into their most dangerous case yet, one that will put their lives at risk, as well as those of Bill’s heroic young friend Jerome Robinson and his teenage sister, Barbara. Brady Hartsfield is back, and planning revenge not just on Hodges and his friends, but on an entire city.  If you are easily frightened, this  story is not for you; it is classic Stephen King.
448 pages

"Andy Warhol Was a Hoarder: Inside the Minds of History's Great Personalities" by Claudia Kalb

This excellent book covers the mental illnesses and/or personality disorders of 12 very famous people:  Marilyn Monroe (borderline personality disorder), Howard Hughes (obsessive-compulsive disorder), Andy Warhol (hoarding), Princess Diana (bulimia), Abraham Lincoln (depression), Christine Jorgenson (transgender), Frank Lloyd Wright (narcissism), Betty Ford (alcoholism/drug addiction), Charles Darwin (anxiety), George Gershwin (hyperactivity), Fyodor Dostoevsky (gambling addiction), and Albert Einstein (Asperger's syndrome).  I love personality theory and found this book to be extremely engrossing and accessible with many sources and notes listed for each person, some of which I can't wait to read for a deeper understanding.  The author is not making diagnoses on her own (she's a journalist and editor) but used these many sources to paint a fascinating and usually compassionate portrait of these well known people.  I found all except the final two figures and their diagnoses to be engrossing, probably because I don't find gambling addiction and Asperger's syndrome to be all that interesting.  However, the fact that all of these people made great contributions to society while trying to deal with sometimes debilitating problems makes their accomplishments all the more remarkable.  (Except for Frank Lloyd Wright - he was just a huge jerk to everyone around him and probably could have achieved even more if not for his extreme narcissism.)  320 pages.

Flourish: A visionary new understanding of happiness and well-being by Martin E.P. Seligman

This book was on a recommended list from one of the RA sessions at MLA.  Seligman describes his work on developing a theory of positive psychology, to not just help people with depression or other mental disorders, but to show how everyone can get more out of life.  The book includes quizzes to assess your attitudes and character strengths, and exercises to build a positive view of well-being.  This is not just another self-help book, rather a description of how Seligman built his theory of well-being based on work in applied psychology, and then applied it not only in educational settings but with basic U.S. Army training to help soldiers develop resilience to stress.  He identifies five elements of well-being: positive emotion, engagement, meaning, accomplishment, and positive relationships.    320 pages.

"Fish in a Barrel" by Grace Tower

The subtitle of this disturbing book is "A True Story of Sexual Abuse in Therapy" and is the first person account of a woman under the power of an abusive therapist for 3 1/2 years.  In October of 1992, the author's adopted sons began biofeedback sessions with a therapist named Rick because they were having behavior and psychological problems.  Three months later, she herself began psychotherapy with Rick, and soon they were in his office up to seven times a week.  Already dealing with low self esteem and the need for approval, Rick manipulated Grace and her boys in many unethical and disturbing ways all the while draining her of money.  His abuse of Grace eventually became sexual.

About half of the book covers her and the boys' experiences as Rick's patients - how he first won them over to gain their trust, then betrayed that trust and abused them.  The second half covers Grace's realization of the harm he's done and her decisions to file criminal charges and sue him in civil court.  The book is quite riveting and allows the reader to see how a smart woman could be so easily manipulated in so many ways.  The best part was seeing Grace evolve from a sad, depressed, almost hopeless person into standing up for herself and her boys against their abuser.  This book is in our collection here.  278 pages.

"Are You My Mother?: A Comic Drama" by Alison Bechdel

In this follow up to "Fun Home," in which she wrote about growing up with her closeted father, Bechdel now explores her relationship with her mother.  Helen Bechdel was a teacher and amateur actress, a very smart woman unhappily married to a closeted gay man.  Although she has three children, she is not the maternal sort; in fact, she stopped touching or kissing her daughter when Alison was seven.  The author weaves back and forth through time landing on instances from her childhood, college years, post-college struggles, and recent events.  This made the story hard for me to follow, although I'm sure it wasn't supposed to be linear since each chapter has a theme rather than a chronology.  Bechdel refers to the theories of psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott and the words of writer Virginia Woolf throughout, and she also discusses insights she's had through many sessions in therapy.  I didn't like this book as much as I did "Fun Home," probably because this was nothing like I'd ever read and some of the concepts of Winnicott's were difficult to understand.  Although the author does come to understand and better accept her mother and their relationship, it's sad that she didn't receive more love from either parent.  286 pages.

"Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety" by Daniel Smith

The author began suffering from severe anxiety after having a terrible experience the first time he has sex.  His life devolves from there into suffering panic attacks and excessive sweating in many situations.  He struggles not only through college but through his first real job as a fact checker for "The Atlantic" and his first serious relationship, which his anxiety and insecurities ruin.  I also suffer from anxiety but mine does not compare to the severity of the author's.  He has found no cure, but, with the help of a psychologist, uses cognitive behavioral therapy to deal with it.  The weakest part of the book was the section about working for "The Atlantic."  I thought it was too long and detailed and didn't add much to the book.  Overall, though, it was interesting to hear how one severe anxiety sufferer acquired it and deals with it.

Audio:  7 hrs. 15 min.
Print:  224 pages

"Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" by Malcolm Gladwell

This bestseller discusses the way we make snap judgments and the consequences of doing so when they are wrong.  The most interesting parts were examples of these, both good and bad.  The author uses the term "thin-slicing" to describe the process of filtering out the variables that don't matter and depending on the ones that do when making a quick decision.  Overall, it was a pretty interesting book although some of it felt like padding.  The author read the CD version that I listened to, which was good because he had a pleasant, mid-range speaking voice.

Audio:  7 hrs. 43 minutes
Print:  296 pages

Rock Breaks Scissors: A Practical Guide to Outguessing and Outwitting Almost Everybody by William Poundstone

(Posted for Paul Mathews)

A book about how we think and make guesses and bets and how we can  have a better chance of winning challenges. 

Audio:  8 hrs. 1 min.
Print:  320 pages

"The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne

Someone recommended that I watch the DVD of this title, which was actually made before the book was written.  The author claims that the universe will give you what you want if you consistently visualize and talk about having what you want in the present tense.  It sounds easy but is quite difficult when you may be used to using the future tense and thinking about what you don't want to happen.  Lots of successful people give testimonials to how "The Secret" has helped them achieve a wonderful life.  It seems to emphasize that positive thinking using the present tense and being happy and grateful with what you have so far is "The Secret."  I am trying to do that, but it is harder than it would seem. 

Audio:  about 4 hours
Print:  198 pages

Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat

by Hal Herzog

A fascinating set of moral mental exercises that left me squirming with discomfort. Herzog looks at the irrational and contradictory attitudes humans have toward other animals. He claims he doesn't want to change your mind, but wants you to think about your relationship with animals in another way. He certainly poses some difficult questions that make one think.

audio: 11.5 hours
text: 326 pages

"Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain

This wonderful book, written by an introvert, explains not only the biology of introversion but how introverts are different from extroverts as babies and in work, love, communication, parenting, and more.  First popularized by psychologist Carl Jung in 1921, introversion and extroversion refer to different points of focus.  Introverts focus on their inner thoughts and feelings while extroverts focus on their external world of people and activities around them.  Quoting Cain, "Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone; extroverts need to recharge when they don't socialize enough."  She explains how introversion is not the same as shyness, which is caused by social anxiety or the fear of social disapproval.  All introverts aren't shy, and all extroverts aren't loud and gregarious.

As a psychology major in college, as well as an introvert, I've read a lot about this subject over the years so I went into this book with a good understanding of it.  However, I hadn't read much about the ideal work environments for introverts and extroverts.  Introverts do their best creating if they are able to get away from other people and their many noises and distractions so that we can concentrate and do our deep thinking without interruptions.  Four walls (real walls that reach from floor to ceiling!) and a door so that we can work alone are what introverts need.  Committees and teams are better for extroverts, who tend to dominate such environments even if they don't have the best ideas. 

Cain covers many other topics in regards to introversion, all of it backed up by science. I could go on and on about how many parts of this book were so interesting and really acknowledged and validated my feelings of otherness, especially in the American culture that values extroversion and socializing so much.  I think everybody should read this book, especially extroverts who are supervisors or parents of introverts so that they are better aware of how to deal with this personality type that is so different from their own.  Very highly recommended!  333 pages.

Susan Cain's web site where you can take a quiz to see if you are an introvert or an extrovert:  http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/

Radio interview with Susan Cain:  http://ttbook.org/book/susan-cain-quiet-power-introverts-world-cant-stop-talking

"Love's Executioner & Other Tales of Psychotherapy" by Irvin D. Yalom, M.D.

As a psychology major in college, one of my favorite parts was reading case studies and learning why people act the way they do.  I received this book many years ago but never read it until this month.  It covers 10 real patients (with names and other identifying information changed) seen by the author, a psychiatrist.  But unlike the case histories I read in my psychology textbooks, the therapist's candid thoughts about his patients and their progress are included.  He portrays himself as human, one with flaws and biases like anyone else.  He doesn't always enjoy working with these people but he finds a way to connect with and help each one, though not always as much as he would have liked.  I recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology or becoming a therapist.  270 pages (Hardcover, first edition).

How We Decide by Johan Lehrer

(Posted for Paul Mathews)

A book on the mind, the way we think, and what helps in the decisions with lots of true life examples:  cash or credit, deal or no deal, some of life's questions. 259 pages.

Dexter is delicious, by Jeff Lindsay

Poor Dexter. He's trying to forge a new life after the birth of his daughter. A new life of human empathy and emotions, but without "the passenger". But circumstances just aren't making it easy. A new killer is on the loose, his charges don't give him any rest, and his brother has shown up and invited himself back into Dexter's life.
Dexter struggles for a while, but relapses to his former ways. But he has stopped a gang of cannibals, so it's okay. Right?
The sheer weirdness of the characters and the descriptions of what goes through their minds intrigued me, though the story is certainly gruesome in parts.
audio: 11.25 hours
print: 368 pages