The Unhoneymooners by Christina Lauren.

Yes I'm in a contemporary romance rut. Shush. 
The concepts. The tropes. I am here for all of the tropes. Fake relationship. And there was one bed. 
I had so much secondhand embarassment...like..it was painful. 
I love Ethan....mostly because I want sassy snarky boy who also nerdy. 
I'm here for the yearning, the pining, and the pina coladas...just kidding....but like...protect the children who aren't children because they're in their thirties
406 Pages

99 Percent Mine by Sally Thorne

I'm absolutely here for the male main character and the chihuahua. Yes. A chihuahua. I love her. She reminds me of Pep Pep (Pepper my rat terrier who looks like a chihuahua in the head)
The childhood friends trope. A classic. 
It took me a moment to warm up to Darcy, at least as a protagonist, but she grew on me. 
Tom was adorable and I loved him. Must be protected.

I'm also here for the bonus scenes...Because yes. I need more Hating Game content. I'm simple.
368 Pages

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne

...."I'm 25 going on 125" boooooooooo.... yeah it's me. 
"We haven't had a goth in a while" yaaaaaaaaaaas. I live for these grandmas.
"Please send us the one" be more specific, babe.
"Aggie said we couldn't" babe put it together.
Ruthie: Exists. Teddy:
"Psych it's a jumpsuit!"
Teddy pulling that Han Solo moment with the "you could use a good kiss" vibes. 
Do I want a guy that has tattoos, draws, and rides a motorcycle...yes I do. I want what I want. 
The tattoo artist AU vibes. The retirement home AU. Absolute fluff fest. Send help.
352 Pages

Attached by Amir Levine

Yes I knew my attachment style going in. No we are not talking about it. Y'all should know what it is by now.
I was expecting the book to be more about the development of attachment (as in here's childhood attachment and here are all the effects in has on adult attachment)
I appreciate that this book doesn't tell all the people with the anxious attachment style to just stop being anxious and try to play it cool and stuff...because....Nah. 
Also the idea that being around a secure person rubs off. Perfection. Good communication. Great.
304 Pages

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

What do you mean he's only 12?! He's not speaking like a 12 year old?
"made us children again" child you are 14. calm down.
....This is going to hurt isn't it.
Bro don't do it. 
Ok but Patroclus is older than Achilles....
Insert all the uncomfortable laughter because I know things about the Odyssey and the Trojan War....
Achilles...hon....
Patroclus is too good for this world and no one deserves him (at least this version of him)
Briseis always be right.
I still love Hector. He doing his best. 
What do you mean he's only 12?!? What the frick
416 Pages

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne

Automatically gives me "You've Got Mail" vibes
Yeaaaah, sure you hate him.
You ding dong. He didn't send you the flowers.

Oh and "The Wedding Date"

Lucy: I am down to clown and it's my right to fight.
It's fine. I'm dying alone with my rat dog. 
416 Pages

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Oof. Was I thinking about a certain person during this and then realizing that because I'm doing that that means that I'm like...trying to fix someone else....
Don't mind me laughing uncomfortably.... We're just going to forget about how problematic I was.....
Do I want a book about people who have lived with a codependent person...yes. 
When they talk about hugs releasing endorphins and none of us can hug anyone right now....
meh.
276 Pages