This Dark Descent by Kalyn Josephson

I won't have blood spilled on my nice clean floors.
"gentleman and a scholar"
demi representation. demi representation.
It's the cat on the shoulder for me.
lol he has to hold the pinecone
"less dead"
411 Pages

Forget Me Not by Julie Soto

Ok but a wedding planner and a florist who has tattoos... Like. peak cinema
The 27 dresses vibes.
*immediately wants to go and get more tattoos.
I love him. I love him so much. I want twelve.
I would like a bonus epilogue please

Two creative people working together. chef's kiss. They're goals.
They really said the workaholic who refuses to need anyone needs a hufflepuff.
This is the "I don't believe in love" I can get behind.
Not saying it's a slytherin and a grumpy hufflepuff...but like...
Ok so Ama is iconic. Just... the entire third act. I love it.
The amount of screeching that happened while I read this book...I'm surprised I didn't get a noise complaint from my neighbors
352 Pages

Fool Me Once by Ashley Winstead

That scene from She's the man about heels making it harder to run hard away 
Ok so it was cringey in the beginning but it was good. Lee grew on me. This is the book that's supposed to come before The Boyfriend Canidate.
359 Pages

The Bonesmith by Nicki Pau Preto

That scene where yzma and kronk talking about getting rid of kuzco and he overhears it.
When they walk on the bridge, my brain:

"I came alone"#Brooklyn99
It's the generational trauma for me.
Ok I'd like the next book please.
I'm not saying it's better than Gideon the Ninth, but like...I didn't get as lost as much.
464 Pages

House of Marionne by J Elle

Ok if the group is called the dragons, does that mean there dragons?

I have a theory about who the male POV is, and I want to be wrong but I also don't want to be wrong.
SKITTLES
Grandma can go die.
431 Pages

TS: "lingers like a bad perfume"

Never a Hero by Vanessa Len

**IT'S A SEQUEL**

Me: Literally starts crying at the first chapter.
me listening to the audiobook:

OK BUT THUNDER AND LIGHTNING IN LITERATURE MEAN A THING SO EXCUSE ME WHILE I FANGIRL OVER LITERALLY NOTHING.
ROWAN LEAVES. (as in the plant) FJKLDSSFRILLDM
literally all the inconsolable gifs
I AM SO STRESSED OUT
some actress asking me "what happened you that's what happened you"
the sarcastic "how touching" vibes

*stares at a wall until the next book comes out
485 Pages

TS: Timeless (also ironically), I Know Places, Invisible String (but without all the happy stuff)

The Spite House by Johnny Compton

 Eric Ross is on the run from a mysterious past with his two daughters in tow. Having left his wife, his house, his whole life behind in Maryland, he’s desperate for money–it’s not easy to find safe work when you can’t provide references, you can’t stay in one place for long, and you’re paranoid that your past is creeping back up on you.

When he comes across the strange ad for the Masson House in Degener, Texas, Eric thinks they may have finally caught a lucky break. The Masson property, notorious for being one of the most haunted places in Texas, needs a caretaker of sorts. The owner is looking for proof of paranormal activity. All they need to do is stay in the house and keep a detailed record of everything that happens there. Provided the house’s horrors don’t drive them all mad, like the caretakers before them.

The job calls to Eric, not just because there’s a huge payout if they can make it through, but because he wants to explore the secrets of the spite house. If it is indeed haunted, maybe it’ll help him understand the uncanny power that clings to his family, driving them from town to town, making them afraid to stop running. 

Pages: 261

Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Anderson Cooper and Katherine Howe

Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Anderson Cooper and Katherine Howe

At the age of eleven, Cornelius Vanderbilt set out to forge a path in the shipping and railroad industries, and he would eventually become the richest man in America. After his death in 1877, his heirs would quarrel over his vast wealth, creating discord among the remaining family members that can be felt as recently as 2018, when the last Vanderbilt was forced out of The Breakers, the enormous summer home built by Cornelius’s grandson. Anderson Cooper, the great-great-great grandson of the Commodore, as Cornelius was called, chronicles the rise and fall of his ancestors.

317 pages.

The Blonde Identity by Ally Carter

Summary: "It's the middle of the night in the middle of Paris and a woman just woke up with no memory. She only knows three things for certain:

1. She has a splitting headache.
2. The hottest guy she has (probably) ever seen is standing over her, telling her to run.

And oh yeah...

3. People keep trying to kill her."

And just like that, I'm in my Jason Bourne fangirl era again. 

Zoe is me. I am Zoe. I LOVE HER.

The tease at a second book? YES, YES, YES.

304 pages

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Agnes Nutter’s prophecies are the world’s only reliable guide to the future, and according to Agnes the world is set to end next Saturday. This time, the armies of Good and Evil seem to be taking it seriously, as do the four Bikers of the Apocalypse. Naturally, they would all prefer the apocalypse didn’t happen, particularly one carousing demon and a somewhat fussy angel. Someone also seems to have misplaced the Antichrist, but that’s just a drop in the bucket, really.  

491 pages.

The First Four Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder

The First Four Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Laura Ingalls Wilder is starting a new life with her husband, Almanzo, in their own little house on the prairie. They work hard to carve a life for themselves on their farm, and soon their daughter Rose is born. But the first four years of their marriage leads to many trials and hardships Laura and Almanzo never could have prepared for. 

Book #9 in the Little House series. 134 pages.

These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder

These Happy Golden Years by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Laura Ingalls is teaching on a claim shanty twelve miles away from her family in Dakota Territory. She is desperately homesick and unhappy, but perseveres to help Ma and Pa pay for her sister Mary’s education at a college for the blind. Every Sunday Almanzo Wilder comes to bring her home, and soon Laura is happily home again, where she can join in singing lessons and sleigh rides—and, perhaps best of all, go on buggy rides with Almanzo.

Book #8 in the Little House series. 289 pages.

Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder

Little Town on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder

With the end of the long winter comes spring socials, dances, and literaries. Despite an active social life, Laura remains as busy as ever on the farm and working at various odd jobs so Pa and Ma can afford for Laura's sister Mary to go to a special college for the blind.

Book #7 in the Little House series. 307 pages.

The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder

The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder

As the Ingalls family settles in Dakota Territory, the settlers are warned a hard winter looms. After the first blizzard hits in mid-October, Pa decides to heed the warning and moves the family into his store building in town. Blizzards repeatedly sweep the town, and supplies like coal, food, and fuel become commodities. Families resort to using burning hay to keep warm, but even that soon runs low. Rumors swirl around town about a settler who has enough hay to last the town the rest of the winter, and Almanzo Wilder risks his life to save the town.  

Book #6 In the Little House series. 335 pages.

Sing Me to Sleep by Gabi Burton

Siren pretends to be a fae, becomes a royal guard for the Crown Prince for the money, and the prince is surprisingly adorable and not awful.
It was ok
432 Pages

TS: specifically the line "you hear my stolen lullabies"

The Forest Grimm by Kathryn Purdie

ARC Publication Date: September 19, 2023
Me @ Friend (because I can't remember her name): 
ok but the appearances of the different fairytales.
Honestly should have guessed the wolf
Protect Axel at all costs. I love him.
Also. The book. The wishes. The prophecy/futures. The moving forest. Love it.
352 Pages

TS: Out of the Woods (ironically)

Assistant to the Villain by Hannah Nicole Maehrer

except the Villain is Gracie

352 Pages

TS: I Can See You, Style,

The Lightstruck by Sunya Mara

It's a trap.
I feel like I would have appreciated it more if I understood the lore...because I was confused.
400 Pages

Reign by Katharine McGee

Canada!!!!
Ok so like. That went better than I expected because I was nervous. 
*Cries about Teddy. Too pure.
Hey that's a scene from Princess Diaries 2 with the swap.
432 Pages

TS: Speak Now, Mastermind

The Long Game by Elena Armas

 ...Does she not know about the Ghost scene
"I wonder who made you believe that you don't deserve to be fussed over" It's me. Hi.
"I think, for someone who's always justifying other people's [ish] behavior, you're extremely hard on yourself"

That epilogue hinting at the next book.
OK BUT WHERE'S THE ROOSTER
384 Pages

Foxglove by Adalyn Grace

***SEQUEL TO BELLADONNA***

I'm not strong enough. I really don't want to hate my dark child.

*has a theory about Blythe
Hey. That's a scene from the first episode of Ouran Host Club, with the coffee...I'm wheezing. Cause I knew that's what he was going to do

ANKLES. The boys: 

Me after finishing the book, if the book was the cheese:

Ok but... I wasn't completely right... but I was partially right
Me trying to figure out how book 3 will play out because there's like three ways I see it going:

464 Pages

TS: There was a little bit of "Ivy" vibes

Kiss the Girl by Zoraida Cordova

Did I immediately hear "I Know A Place" by MUNA when I thought of the Seven Sirens performing

“Aurora grocery” I see you....

“Walking on glass” You mean.... Like the og fairytale

"No sleep stop til Brooklyn"

Bro you did not need to tear your shirt
I bet he’s one of the guys that says Taylor can’t write anything but bubblegum pop and that all of it sounds the same. 🙄

It's that one scene from Little Mermaid 2023 where Eric holds Ariel's hand to his heart after being rescued.
320 Pages

TS: There's some Electric Touch vibes, Long Live (obvs)